Attention: I am re-arranging my blogs and simplifying some things for my own sanity and the ease of others as well. Therefore, I am re-posting a few things from my blog previously known as "A Newlywed's Bliss". This first re-post- "How to dress for a successful marriage" is my favorite from that set. Enjoy! :) After all the dressing and primping and posing for photos winds down and it's time to send my Bride down the aisle to meet her Groom, we arrive at my favorite perk of working in the Wedding business. Vows. There are a few reasons I adore this part of the day above every other moment of every other day throughout the planning process and even the liveliness and action of a reception. A) I get to sit down (usually) for a decent block of time, relax and focus in a peaceful and serene environment. B) Being in the presence of two people committing their lives to one another and become a single entity is intoxicating to me. There's no other happening that can create this kind of magic- it just engulfs the room, you can't escape it, and it's so wonderful being part of the sacred beginning to a couple's own eternity. Today I'd like to share some pieces of a passage from last night's ceremony that I love. I can tell it's a crowd please-er when I see the married couples in attendance glancing at one another so endearingly- like they are taking the vows themselves right then and there. Watching them all throughout the evening full of dancing and celebrating, you can see they are entranced in the presence of such love and I only hope they wake up with a little left over sparkle the next morning! I've chosen this as one of my favorites because of how universally appealing and honest it is, and how renewing it can be for the overworked souls of marriage everywhere. When your marital bliss is feeling a little stretched and thin, may these words have the power to help you overcome obstacles and prevail victorious.
The Apostle Paul, in this letter to the Colossians, has some suggestions about what kind of clothes you should have hanging in your marriage closet. As God's chosen ones, Paul says to first, put on compassion. This is something you wear inside. It's a little bit like underwear... suitable for everyday... absolutely essential for weak moments. Compassion is the inner attitude of tenderly caring for each other's needs. It has to do with having a heart for the other... and then each of you having the other at heart.
Now you will need some comfortable shirts and blouses. Let's call them kindness. Kindness is a soft, gentle garment, that complements whoever wears it. Sometimes kindness can be in short supply in a marriage, especially when we get to know each other's weaknesses and soft spots. To wear the garment of kindness is to be the healer in your marriage.
Now, you need a few scratchy, itchy sweaters. Let's call them the garments of humility. Like I said, they can be a little scratchy and uncomfortable at times and we really don't like to put them on very often, but they will protect you against arrogance and self-centeredness. Humility isn't about total submission or giving in to the other's whims and wants. But rather, it is about respecting each other's uniqueness and equality in your marriage.
Patience is another article of clothing you can't do without. Definitely socks! Many pairs of good socks... ones that will wear a long time. Patience is a long-wearing garment that helps you wait out the storms that will come in your marriage. But like socks, patience can wear a little thin sometimes. We are not perfect people and there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Marriage takes patience. It requires a sense of humor and a spirit of live and let live. So we have undergarments, shirts, a few scratchy sweaters, socks.
You'll need some nice pants now... some nice slacks... with deep pockets. I liken these with gentleness or meekness. Every marriage wardrobe needs gentleness or meekness, to soften angry outbursts and to prevent judgemental reactions. And the reason they need deep pockets is so you can have a place to store up trust in each other.
Now shoes! Shoes of forgiveness. Marriage can often be a test of endurance, marriage is forever. And something that lasts forever takes hard work and the willingness to say you are sorry when things don't go well. As marriage begins, these shoes are still new and will feel a little stiff and uncomfortable. But the more you are able to forgive each other; the more you are able to say " I am sorry" when you make mistakes, the more comfortable your shoes become.
Now you have everything you need. Except a good coat. Love is the last garment Paul talks about. Love is like the overcoat, it goes on over everything. It is what will keep your marriage warm. The coat Paul is talking about is made of two things... both of which are essential for your marriage to survive. Commitment and Caring. When you marry, you commit yourself to the other. You bind yourselves together with your promise to care for one another, no matter what comes. That is a very special kind of love. This love Paul is talking about is bringing all that we have, all that we are, all that we are going to be... and we give it freely and sacrificially to each other.
-- Excerpt from the Wedding Vows spoken for Mike and Shayna by Pastor Stan at the Redeemer Lutheran Church, Winter Park, Florida August 8th, 2008
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